Just Listen .... The Most Critical Skill of Coaching

What a gift it is ….. a listening ear, an open heart, and the capacity to help a friend reflect and grow. That’s what we give when we just listen.

Truly listening—deeply listening—springs from a commitment to listen. When we are intent on listening, we digest what is being said and then choose what we will say in response. We postpone our response until after the sender has completely stopped talking and we have taken time to truly understand his or her message. We know that our silence is a powerful tool that allows the other to think deeply without distraction from us.

Often when people talk about what they desire, they are not automatically asking for a response on our part. What they expect is that we see their passion, recognize their frustration, or empathize with their complaint. In other words, they expect us to “witness their struggle.” No answer from us is necessary. A simple touch, a listening ear, our mere presence is all that is needed. This frees the person to take care of him- or herself without worrying about responding to our inquiries and expectations.

In a coaching relationship, listening causes clients to focus their energy and challenges them to grow. They are free to propose “wild and crazy” ideas, create and consider new and innovative solutions, share frustrations and express feelings without fear of consequences. The client has the opportunity to hear his or her thoughts and ideas spoken out loud—maybe for the first time. Once said, the client can then consider their importance and relevance. The coach just listens and affirms without a personal agenda or plan.

So listening is the perfect gift! It is always just-in-time and never out-of-style. Give it freely to one another and to the leaders we serve as coaches. They will be forever grateful!

by Marceta Reilly, Board Member and Business Manager

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Notable Quotes

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize
how close they were to success when they gave up.
-Thomas Edison

The tragedy in life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal.
The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.
-Benjamin Mays

As one person I cannot change the world,
but I can change the world of one person.
- Paul Shane Spear

Unless you try to do something beyond
what you have already mastered, you will never grow.
- Ronald E. Osborn

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